Exams are tough – although they are designed to test who can remember a lot, we all give too much importance to it. And it is sometimes a necessity because the corporations makes it mandatory to give jobs.
Yes, those jobs can be done by a 10 year old – but they want you do a major in Science. And because of that you need to study, at least get some certificates and get the job. All of these is changing – slowly. But that is the tricky word – slowly. It will take a long time before the culture shift happens.
And before that, you have the fear. The one which creeps you out – doesn’t let you sleep before the examinations, job interviews. And sometimes it makes you fumble in the chat – which leads to you becoming a failure.
Not because you aren’t a good candidate, But rather because you succumbed to the fear.
The idea of fear starts very early – somewhere along the lines when you were born. Each day your parents taught you that fear is a good thing. Safety is important and when you are young – you tend to be rebellious. And then parents turn to lying.
If you do this then such a person will take you away. Don’t be in the dark – ghosts may come. And with each story – the fear in you builds up. Because you are living that life each day.
Slowly you look around and realize that the fear isn’t true. Because you are now an adult. But the knowledge doesn’t help. When you see someone in the dark – your basic instinct kicks in. They tell you – maybe it is a ghost. Your rationale is kept aside while your brain revisits the old things your parents made you live.
So, one thing is for sure. Fear isn’t going anywhere. It will be here embedded in you. And you gotta live with it.
Primal Vs Modern
Like in the ancient times, fear helped us a lot. If you lived in a cave then fearing about the sounds at night is a good thing. Because a tiger might be stepping in on your territory with your life being in danger. Also, when you are young – fear helped you. Because you didn’t do the stupid things your parents warned you about. So a win-win situation despite the fear.
But now, since you are young and passionate – the fear of making something out of your creativity won’t kill you or land you in trouble. Do it as a side job on weekends and don’t quit your job.
If you are fearful of how embarrassed it would be to give a speech and fail. Then remember you won’t die – no one remembers your mistakes more than you do.
So, let this thing get engraved in your mind. And as Seth Godin says, dance with it. What other alternative do you have…
In all my swimming exercises, I didn’t feared much. One one thing made me dizzy – and that was trying to learn treading. Because my feet won’t be touching ground.
Yes, if I was at a jungle all by myself then it would be nice to get fearful. But with lifeguards all around, floaters to support me there isn’t a real danger. And most of the thing is in my head anyway.
So slowly, I practiced while clinging to the side, then let go off my first hand and then second. After a few failures – which was easy to recover because I knew to swim. So, I would just swim back to the wall asap. I got the hang of it.
Next time you are fearful, try to find out if it is a real one or is it only in your head with no real danger. Good luck.